R.I.P. Captain Save-a-Heaux
I always find it so funny that people describe me as an optimistic person, I don't self-identify that way. I've experienced some pretty cruel and heinous experiences at the hands of apathetic people who use their limited power over the most vulnerable. That is why I know influence can be more effective than power in most conflicts. I have no access to legitimate power, and may never. But I also don't value or prioritize it. If what I am seeking to do doesn't center on individual agency and buy-in then I'm not meant to do that thing. Charity and community work are in no way the same. take your virtue signalling somewhere else thanks!
My "optimism" is borne from the understanding that people can be kind and supportive if they know how to be. Apathy is borne from the belief that nothing someone does will change the outcome of an experience. So when I want to get folks to care about people it's not for me to shame them for the apathy they feel, since it's a normal by-product of our society.
It is always of benefit to these systems for us to be disinterested in communal care, connection is the most human act that's why they seek to interrupt it all the time. You can never go on break at the same time as your coworkers, you can't take vacations together, you can't loiter in public places, and parks and beaches have hours of operation. They divide us from nature and from one another at every opportunity. They invite violence to meet the dissent with even violence.
"The practice of love offers no place of safety. We risk loss, hurt, pain. We risk being acted upon by forces outside our control."
― "All About Love: New Visions" bell hooks
My love allows me to go through the annoying aspects of community work because the joys of collaboration always always outweigh the difficulties. My work is to not fall into a saviour complex or become Captain Save a-Heaux. Since I've been stating clearly how people can help me, and more importantly since learning that I do in fact need help ( a lot of it) my collaborations have gotten much better and more transformational. I don't need to be perfect, and I don't expect it from others. But I do commit and hope that I'm met with a reciprocal level of it. Giving up when things get hard is a logical decision, I am just hoping that we all can see the potential in not.
